Let's Go to the Airport

So I travel for work. A lot. There are weeks when I feel like I'm living in the airport. As such, I have a system for getting through security. My phone and keys have a place in my brief case (and are placed there as soon as I am out of the car), I know when I need my ID, I know what to do with my laptop, shoes, and jacket. I even have the liquids thing figured out. As a result, when there isn't a line I breeze through and am back together quickly.

While I don't agree that the measures at these checkpoints do any good, I live with it because I have to. However, I've noticed a lot of people who seem to show up at the airport and I want to ask them, "Did you know you were getting on a plane today??"

So many fellow travellers show up with more shit in their pockets than I thought humanly possible. They wait until they get in line and then they're pulling out phones and change and belts and moneyclips and lighters and pocket knives and pens and PDAs and Crapberrys and Starbuck's cups and small children. It's like another dimension in their pockets and they always seem to have forgotten that none of it can go through the metal detector. While they're pulling it all out, they look up while mouth breathing and ask, "Do I have to take my shoes off?"

Get a clue, please! We're all in it together at the airport, stay alert and organized. Don't have your pockets filled. Please get out of my way, I'm grumpy in the airport and all I want is to get to the Admiral's Club as quickly as possible.

On another note, the amoount of noise pollution at airports just keeps getting worse. They're putting in tile floors (so the sound bounces), playing CNN at full blast, making gate announcements, making security announcements, and playing Muzak on the planes as you get on. Delta, why the hell do you think Michael Bolton is going to relax me? If anything, you're adding to my tension. Thanks!

Periodic Roundup and Odds and Ends and the Such

Just one or two interesting things I wanted to get off my chest/bring up...

First, I really hate this guy. Curt Schilling has been out of the news for a while so now he has to have all the attention in the world. "Hey, look at me, I'm a giant asshole!" I really really REALLY hate this guy and hope that he has the shittiest year of his career.

Red Sox Asshole Seeks Attention

Second, I was invited to participate in the National Security Bloggers. I'm not sure I totally get this since I really haven't written about national security at all. I mean, I want to scream when I watch President W . trip/fall/blunder his way through foreign policy and International relations, but I don't find it that interesting to write about. It's too easy to make fun of him, it would be like mocking the retarded.

Finally, I find myself wondering what the hell is wrong with GenY again. They just don't seem to get it. I'm discovering that, as an employer, you have to tell them a lot. just because you have a late meeting doesn't mean you sleep in, be up and ready to go when the office opens. Sometimes I wonder if they have common sense...

Asshole of the Week

This week's selection... Everyone else. In my hotel room today I saw several fun news stories.

First, Michael Vick. First the whole Ron Mexico fiasco, now he is trying to hide pot in a water bottle. Everyone in the country knows that you can't take liquids on the plane, but this genius decides that taking liquids on the plane is the best way to hide his drugs... GENIUS

He's Only Football Smart, not Smart Smart

Then, I see all this crap about Grey's Anatomy. I know the show is popular, but honestly. WHO CARES??? So one guy insulted the other, made dumb remarks in pulbic, etc. I don't even know who the hell T.K. whatever his name is, or the other guy.

And finally, a radio station morning crew is in trouble and may face charges of manslaughter because an adult woman drank too much water and died trying to win a Nintendo Wii. The coverage of this has been awful. People are actually blaming the radio station? This woman was dumb enough to try to enter this contest, signed a release, and they're to blame?? I'm sorry but she is a fucking idiot and everyone that says the radio station is at fault are bigger fucking idiots. Here are a few websites covering this, the first is great calling it so tragic. It sounds like Darwinism to me.

Piss Poor Coverage


I hope they have the Drink Poison to win a PSIII Contest Next. I can't wait to see how many hopeful contestants will drink hemlock and then have their families blame the radio station for their idiocy.

Maybe the real assholes are the public because they seem to be blaming the station and caring about two idiot actors feuding. At least I didn't have to see Dianne Sawyer talk about it though Mr. Robin Roberts isn't much better.

I Agree with the Old Lady

So another poor country has adopted the Euro.

Slovenia, I wonder if they aren't too tidy

I was in Europe this spring and I have to say, the Euro sucks! The money is all weirdo coins or bills that are in different sizes. The only thing worse is the Pound in England. At one point I had $40 worth of change in my pocket.

So, in response to the idiots who want to do away with the dollar bill... CUT IT OUT. The dollar coin is a sign of our country falling into the abyss!

Damn it!

I stand corrected... Everytime I pick an Asshole of the Week, ten minutes later I read an article that makes me more angry. Here it is...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061128/ap_on_bi_ge/ihop_ids

I love IHOP, but now I'm not so sure I can ever go there again. Facists!

Assholes of the Week

I think this week I'm going to pick everyone outside my house as the Assholes of the Week. Why? Well there are a lot of issues in the world that are a mess, but several states have decided they want to play Big Brother and tell people they can't smoke in their own cars if their kids are present. I'd really like to see the government stay the hell out of my life.

I saw this on the Today show because I couldn't stomach watching GMA this morning. Everything is so damn precious or shocking. The Weepy Women are making a giant comeback.

I don't understand the desire to tell people what they can and can't do. I might tell people they're stupid a lot but I don't want to control their actions. There is a fine line between legislating safety and being my mother.

What's Wrong with America

So, a lot of people point to one thing and say, that's what is wrong with the US. I don't believe there is one thing wrong with the country, but I will point to TV's Nancy Grace as being one thing wrong with this country. Her ratings-whore attitude, her disregard for the constitution to take the so-called moral high-road for "victim's rights," her an eye for an eye view of the justice system stands against everything our system is based on.

This woman should be arrested for manslaughter. Her behavior likely drove a woman to suicide (http://www.melinda-duckett.com/). She forgets the idea that you're innocent until proven guilty. She forgets that punishment should never be the sole aim of a justice system. She forgets that maybe rehabilitation should be included somewhere in there.

A lot of people talk about what is obscene, well Nancy Grace is obscene. I hope she gets fired from her job and ends up writing a weekly legal advice column in some dinky paper in the middle of nowhere.

Did I Speak too Soon?

No sooner than I named my first Assholes of the Week and others crawl out of the woodwork wanting the title. Let's look at some runners up...

The American League MVP Voters - How did they NOT give this to Jeter? No Godzilla, No Sheff for the entire year, no pitching and they still finish with the best record in baseball. Why? Derek Jeter.

Diane Sawyer - Just because. This knucklehead fawns over everything. Plus it looks like the rubbed an entire jar of vaseline on the camera that shoots her.

Cosmo Kramer - The heckler was right, you're not funny.

Fox Broadcasting - First you put OJ on, then you take him off. Didn't you know it would upset people??

Diane Sawyer - Whoops, sorry, already mentioned her.

I still think MADD is the winner but man, I guess the holiday weekend brings out the worst in people.