File Under Who Gives a Shit

So CNN, that bastion of high quality, important news is about to name its most controversial celebrity of 2006. Well thank the fucking lord! While that Bush is a bad guy, I really want to know if Mel Gibson or Michael Richards was a bigger asshole. Maybe someone like Britney Spears will surprise us all. Or Maddona will reclaim her rightful title.

All I can say is Who Gives a SHIT?? Is this really how a "legitimate" news organization should be spending its time and money? To be honest, I guess there were no non-celebrity related news items this year. I'm glad to hear that CNN is shedding light on this important issue facing our nation. Celebrities are a cancer that have plauged this country for years. Something must be done to prevent activist judges and liberal groups from allowing celebrities to be forced on our children.

MY list of the most controversial celebrities is...

OJ Simpson - What a move, Mel Gibson needs NEW crime to get noticed. OJ is still getting mileage out of one that's 12 years old.

Kid Rock - Marries then divorces Pamela Anderson in record time. What does this say to the aspiring white trash of America? I thought you were supposed to stay in a bad marriage and yell a lot.

Dianne Sawyer - Weepy women are back. She has to make any worst of list in my book. What a moron.

Michael Richards - How dare he try to have a career? I thought he'd just milk Seinfeld for the rest of time. Plus, I never knew he was funny, that explains a lot.

Jason Alexander - Whoops, he should be on the saddest list.

And the winner is.......

Kato Kailin! I'm shocked that he didn't find a way to get a book and TV deal in the news immediately after OJ came out with his. I guess he's still afraid the "Real Killers" might visit him in the night.